The End of Days

A few days ago my son and I had an interesting exchange that reminded me that the day where your opinion as a parent gets rendered impotent due to someone younger and in some cases way prettier than you comes far too quickly.

The other day my son and a female friend of his came by to my office. After having been hiding out in our apartment since he got home from his first year of college catching up on all the television that he'd missed out on, he and his friend decided to hang out in the city that evening. Before they did they both came by my office. When I went down to the lobby to greet them, I gave my son the once over. He looked nice. He stood up to give me a kiss hello and he introduced me to his friend. I had noticed that his beard was looking a little less than neat. I said to him as I ran my hand over what used to be a baby face "Hmm..I think you should shave" He started to shake his head in protest. But before anything else could be said, his lady companion chimed in with "Oh..I like his beard" Pause...sigh. I knew right then and there whatever power or influence I had was officially gone! Inside I was a little crushed..but I was also laughing at the irony of it all.

Let me take you back a bit:

When I was in high school specifically during my senior year, I used to wear this foundation from Mary Kay. I used this stuff religiously and you could not tell me that I didn't look good. Looking back I see that it was two shades too light for me and was probably doing more harm than good for my skin. My father would often say to me "Baby...why you wearing all that make up? You don't need it you have beautiful skin." Did I listen? pfft..dads!!! What do they know right?

A year later I went off to college at Cheyney University. When I was sort of regarded like a side show attraction. I was Black and Puerto Rican, I had "good hair"(a description I've always hated) I was from the Bronx but because I didn't speak in slang of any kind so a lot of fellow students thought I was British. No lie! One day this guy, named Malik, who was one of the most militant students pulled me aside and said to me "Sis..why you wearing all that make up..you don't need it." The next day that Mary Kay foundation was in the trash.

When I went back home for Thanksgiving break. my dad noticed that I wasn't wearing the make up and asked what happened. "Well daddy...this boy told me that I didn't need it, so I stopped wearing it." My father looked at me and said "Oh I see..I've been telling you for years that you don't need make up but a boy tells you and then you stop huh?" All I did was shrug my shoulders and asked him to pass the stuffing. My father seemed to take all of this in humorous stride but I can't help but wonder if it hurt him to see that his little girl was letting some guy tell her what he knew all along.

So here I stood years later as a parent and could see that although I know realistically my son will not disregard my opinion in certain matters that, in some others, some pretty girl is going to trump me. I'm okay with it. It's no longer going to be "Mommy what do you think?" but "Mom I respect your opinion but X says...."

It's the end of the world as I knew it..and I feel fine.