Happy Re-Born Day

As I write this I am one day away from my 40th birthday and I just realized something,...that for the first time in my adult life I haven't even thought about what I'm going to wear on that very special day. Now before you go and call me shallow..hear me out. This is a good thing!!! Trust me!

I realized several years ago that this milestone birthday would happen to fall on Friday. So barring any deaths, emergencies or Nostradamus predicted disasters my plans included celebrating the day in EPIC proportions. Even as late as this February I was looking into booking a trip to Las Vegas with my closest girlfriends and really do it big. Then something monumental changed my life and shifted my priorities.

My son Jordan started college a few weeks ago.

This has made me an empty nester. The first week alone in my home was a weird feeling for me. It wasn't abandonment or loneliness but a strange kind of emptiness that manifested into a physical feeling of ague that I couldn't shake..not for the life of me. On that first night..I pulled out the sofa bed as I had given my son the bedroom. I watched TV until I fell asleep. At around 3am..I woke up with a startling feeling that something was wrong. Then I slowly realized that nothing was wrong..on the contrary everything was right as it should be. Just another phase to get used to.

I went to work the day after dropping him off and my colleagues jokingly asked me. "So how does it feel to have an empty house all to yourself?" How could I tell them ..that it felt weird. They wanted to hear tales of me swinging from chandeliers. So I just smiled and kept it moving.

The first weekend of grocery shopping however proved to be the first pleasant revelation. I bought stuff that I normally wouldn't buy because my son wouldn't eat it or it was slightly out of my budget. But mostly I thought "You mean I can buy that bottle of wine and drink it all in one night if I choose to?? I think I can get used to this living alone thing.

The other big thing was that I actually took a vacation or a birthday-cation as it were. I had booked a trip to Martha's Vineyard for Labor Day weekend. Aside from the looming threat of Hurricane Earl which threatened to ruin my trip, it went off without a hitch and without incident. I made some new friends and I am already making plans to return next year.

So here we come back to today. Right now as I am I writing this..I am waiting for my African dance class to begin. In taking this dance class I've gained an enormous amount of self satisfaction as well as lost a significant amount of weight. One would think that this alone would be reason enough to buy a hot new dress. Nope..not this time. My "new" body as it were has given me the confidence in myself that I had lost (but didn't know it) The confidence that I've regained in being comfortable in my own skin..you cant put a price on that. Well actually you can..but it's worth it.

So while I still don't have a new dress...I have a new respect for taking care of the "dress" that nature provided me with. Most designers work on clothes from the inside out and that's the same path that I'm following with myself. Working on the inside..learning who I am....and learning new steps along the way.


Happy Birthday To ME Indeed!


Peace
Myrna