I've been pondering for days now if I would or should even touch on the horrible tragedy that happened in the Sandy Hook Elementary School in Newtown, CT. I sat at work that day glued to my computer looking at the images, unable to fathom the heartbreak that would befall the families of those little innocent children. I went home with a heavy heart, knowing that many parents would not be able to kiss their children good night.
Before I went to bed I went to Facebook and saw various postings from friends and loved ones, many of them parents, who were expressing gratitude for their children. It was my cousin's post though that touched me the most. My cousin, who became a brand new mother earlier this year, expressed her uncontrollable tears and need to hold her new baby girl close to her that night. I called her but she didn't answer. My sleep was fitful because I so wanted to talk to her and give her as much comfort as I could.
I felt it was my responsibility to hear her out and to also let her know that what she felt was normal. Because even though this tragedy hadn't happened to us directly, it doesn't hurt any less. It doesn't hurt any less because once you join the fraternity of parenthood, no matter what race, religion, creed you are..a parents love for their child is universal. When you hear about tragedies like at Newtown, you automatically put yourself in that parents place and then two things happen. 1. You feel sympathy for them..and 2.You thank God that's it not you.
As a new parent, it's not enough that the anxiety of having a new life in our hands can bring, but now you have to worry about the possibility of danger coming to your child when you let them in someone else's care. You do so and you hope that your child comes home happy and most of all safe. Every time you let your child out into the world, you basically turn yourself inside out. You as a parent, feel that no one..not even the Secret Service can protect your child as well as you can. Logic be damned..its what makes parents do the things they do.
When I was a junior in High School..My psychology teacher, Mr. DiNardo started our parenting segment with these words "Parenthood is a role from which there is no escape" This lesson stayed with me. No less than 5 years later, I would learn that lesson first hand with the birth of my only son. I learned first hand that no matter who you are, what you do, when you choose to parent you are Mom or Dad first. Period. Everything else is secondary.
But I think President Obama said it best in his speech at the Newtown memorial the other night:
"You know, someone once described the joy and anxiety of parenthood as the equivalent of having your heart outside of your body all the time, walking around.
With their very first cry, this most precious, vital part of ourselves, our child, is suddenly exposed to the world, to possible mishap or malice, and every parent knows there’s nothing we will not do to shield our children from harm. And yet we also know that with that child’s very first step and each step after that, they are separating from us, that we won’t -- that we can’t always be there for them.
They will suffer sickness and setbacks and broken hearts and disappointments, and we learn that our most important job is to give them what they need to become self-reliant and capable and resilient, ready to face the world without fear."
My sentiments exactly..
Peace,
Myrna
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